The stars remain silent, as does Aum. We traverse an area of sublime perfection: a vast sea of dark matter – interstellar dust and quantum-level particulates conjoined in a sea of impermeability – interspersed with looping nebulae and black holes evidenced only by light-hoarding event horizons. I gasp in wonder and tears blur my vision.
A correlation bubbles to the surface of my thoughts. As with quasars, we are all emissaries of destiny, outward bound, the Omniverse our destination. It recedes, leaving only prescient awareness in its wake. Spiral and elliptical galaxies rotate in stately harmony as proud coteries of asteroids and comets spend themselves in vain attempts to escape the orbits of their destinies. I observe it all in solemn amazement, awed by the majestic beauty of creation. Aum breaks the silence abruptly.
“There is one final destination.”
Only one, I ask.
“Yes. Only one.”
“And where is this place?”
“It is here.”
We have come to a featureless, golden plain. I look around, finding nothing of consequence. There is no vegetation. No mountains, valleys or minor perturbations disturb the flatness. The marble path cuts a straight line to the horizon, the only differentiation between form and formlessness. The cyclones have left that path and wander in a seemingly aimless fashion across the desert.
“I do not understand.” I complain.
“Your understanding is not understandable,” he mocks, “you have only to be still and remember.”
I cannot prevent a sense of panic from setting in as I realize that our sojourn is almost complete. That, if I have not found myself by its end, some unspeakable destiny will befall me; a failure of character and intentions, fit only for one tied to the flesh for yet another turn of the wheel. I look around wildly, searching for some indication of who I am. Still there is nothing. Aum’s voice is gentle and soothes my distress.
“You have forgotten to remind me to speak of purposes.”
I apologize profusely, stumbling over my words once again, as I had when we first met. I ask him for patience, for him to work with me. I ask him for more time. His denial is expansive.
“In the end, your soul shall encompass all of the time in the Omniverse, time being relative to existence upon the gross material plane. There is no place for the linear progression of consciousness in the higher levels of vibration, where your eternal soul resides. Only the mind and certain aspects of the spirit are bound within time’s confines. The now contains a seed of memory – of eternity – a chance for you to transcend the cycle. But you must decide now. This opportunity may not manifest so clearly again.”
He pauses, his midnight eyes boring into mine. “My purpose is to help you to find yourself. To show you who and what you truly are, because you have forgotten. Most of the people on your world have forgotten and as a result, the Earth is dying. The premature transmigration of a planets soul is an occasion for great sadness. Our shared purpose is the prevention of this tragedy.”
“What do you mean?”
“As above, so below. The salvation of one soul becomes a template for the salvation of all souls. Through you, they may be saved.”
I struggle to understand. How is it possible to save all by saving one? Aums discourse replays in my mind. I am stardust. Everything is connected. My ego is not my self. I am the sum of my misguided intentions. Through me, we may be saved. As I contemplate eternity peace suffuses my soul and warmth born of compassion gathers upon the shore of my thoughts.
The little, black man peers at me with extraordinary intensity. “Tell me. Do you know who I am?”
I nod hesitantly. “Of course. You are Aum. You told me your name earlier, remember?”
“Yes, I do. I am Aum, but do you know what my name means?”
“No. Names have meaning?”
“Yes. Names contain the essence of things. No-thing is the absence of things. Formlessness. Names provide structure. Form. They facilitate the differentiation into some-thing. My name, Aum, is divine. My name contains the true will to power. My name is a primeval force, vibrating to the beat of the cosmos. Through my name, creation is become. Through my name you may find God within. Through my name you can find yourself.”
A flash of understanding increases the intensity of the vibratory energy flowing through me. I mouth his name, breathing deeply. Aum.
Then again, and once more. Aum. Something changes. The vibrations grow stronger and I reexamine the plain while simultaneously superimposing the vistas of our previous destinations atop the current one.
My vision is flawless, my hearing potent. The smallest sounds rush to my ear. The cyclones now move purposefully; converging, growing larger as each contributes its energy to the whole. They become a hurricane, twisting and screaming in reckless abandon, churning the golden sand into a stormy conflagration. The space around us remains calm and Aum watches me, his eyes shining.
I look deeper and discover hidden within the simplicity of this place the complexity of the others and, in the space of an instant, the connection becomes clear. Synapses flare as the synthetic ability of my brain bypasses the feral protestations of my ego and I observe from a space beyond as words, pictures and feelings manifest. Scenes of my life predominate.
There are my wife and daughter at home.
There are children playing beneath a cloudless, azure sky.
There are men dying, fighting in wars across the Earth.
There are elders, wasting away in hostels and filthy apartments.
There are women, men and children praying at the alters of their choice.
There are flowers, mountains, deserts and forests, fighting against encroaching pestilence.
There are streams, lakes, rivers and seas poisoned by waste and misuse.
There is the air, bearing death upon the intake of every breath.
Lust, hatred, envy, greed; the entirety of the world’s torturous ecstasy lies before me as a tapestry of life, woven of the fabric called death. Isolation, one from the other, marks the lives of the soul-lost upon the third planet from Sol, called Earth.
Suddenly, I know. I remember who I am.
The realization frees me from the chains of the flesh and I burst forth, a flaming ball of life-essence, dancing upon the astral-wind. My memory has returned and eternity beckons. My cellular database awakens and I hear the ancestors singing joyfully, their voices harmonizing with the heavens. I no longer see Aum but feel him, for he is a part of me and I still hear his voice ring out from within.
Have you found yourself yet?
Yes, I answer. I have.
Remember. Life doesn’t rewind.
An elevator chimes and I start, returned from trance. The hall remains empty of traffic and I note that time has resumed its irregular march. I turn from the confines of my past, an extraordinary sensation of peace suffusing my thoughts, and exit the building without a backward glance. No longer do I fear the day and the night holds the promise of further explorations of the inner, and outer, reality. Aum is my mantra and I exit the flesh at will to find myself encapsulated within a cocoon of love and compassion, connected to the formative void by the purity of my intentions. Sol beckons, his corona caressing my spirit and I revel in the gift, and promise, of life.
Darkness envelops me. I am rising and a formless but all-encompassing sensation reminiscent of forever is all that I feel. I was lost but now I’m found, 93,000,000 miles from the sun.
Lost. Part I
Lost. Part II
Lost. Part III
Copyright 2003. All Rights Reserved.