Falling

Falling
twisting ,turning
Spiraling
through layers

of desire twisted,

visions of accusations
and need –

of desire perverted and
intentions misunderstood –

eyes wide shut
vertigo grips me
while images of she and she
and her
reverbrate in
memory and motion:

who are you to me

lost

falling away,
drowning beneath leagues
of oceanic emotivity…

…deeper and deeper,
the light lost
layers sifting away
leaving me

lighter

falling,
higher,
up becomes down becomes
the other way around
deep becomes high
and i rise
as weight born of dwelling
patterns release their
hold
as tears born of fears
dry up
as has been foretold
salt trails of misdirection and
denial evaporating with
the wind
of

my Ascension

as i continue to fall
higher
into the light of my
darkness.

An interesting side-effect of increased meditation is the cultivation of contemplation and dispassion; of compassion. Realizing what you need leaves me free not to take on your karmic debt and allow you to follow your path under your own steam, whilst I draw comfort in the dark, from light patterns seen when the blackness becomes the void and the glow born of inner-knowledge flames up in the interim.

Accepting your terminology for me, your idea of me becomes less and less attractive as I come closer to seeing for myself who I be,  as the truth of me clarifies and the focus of my life returns to where it was in the Beginning, within, which is without, which is you in me, we being the epitomy of the divine Trinity.

Falling becomes rising and the laughter becomes cries as the pain denies its source becoming bereft, left in the dust and detritus of the lies I used to tell myself to fit in, to be like everybody else, when nothing ever could have been further from the truth. Coming out of the closet and declaring my insanity, my extreme need to express the totality of my ideologies, my spirituality causes the box of your perceptive conditionalities to implode with the force of their non-applicability, while – displaying the utmost civility – the everythingness within comforts me, drawing our chosen sins like flowers draw bees, like water draws trees and prayer, silent devotees on bended knees.

The way down leads me all around the way, experience being what it is, I’ve seen the signs of the times during the night and the day, frightful imaginings preceding insightful tragedies that highlight the human experience in a manner that requires serious consideration, the repetition of  karmic patterns affected by Saturn’s ingress and egress as the test of the soul’s readiness to move on. Sometimes it takes a fall to end a stall, ask any predator or bird of prey that has spied its dinner along the way and had to circle back around, flying up or down to get past the currents and eddies of life in order to return back to that point of satiation, of realization that the moment is all there is, and those memories of pleasure we remember are gone, the treasure of lost moments fomenting years of dwelling and regret, until that point arrives when we can take no more, and all we have left is to stand up tall, or fall to the floor.

Call me
friend in need
in deed,

I’ll be there to comfort you
offer you affection and share
my joy

as we travel the path
together,

the subtle vagaries of attraction
sublimated beneath the
ecstasy of spiritual
union…

…possession and
depression fuse
like a Joker’s ruse,
fooling King and Queen
alike, while the Jack
takes a hike
down into the lower court,
complaining to the Ten
that, “ain’t nothin’ like it
was, and it all goes ’round
again and again an
again.”

A full house breaks
a flush
and the rush of sensations
awakens lifetimes of
information that compete for
ascendency in our lives,
we are moved by urges that
are near impossible to
deny

and yet we continue to try
to fly

you and I and all of the others,
brothers and sisters,
enemies and lovers
all discombobulated and elated
by the storms of life
torn by the claws of strife
stabbed by passion’s
tender knife.

Rising
twisting ,turning
Spiraling
through layers

of desire manifest

we accomplish the goals
on these material shoals,

learning and living the test,
realizing that we don’t
have to be better than
all the rest
and that, in the end,
peace, joy and salvation of
the soul are, truly,

what is best.

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