World of Pain

Bottomless well
spring of eternal
emotivity

where does it all come from
passion’s flowering tendrils
anger’s burgeoning crags
roots deeper than Atlantis
tempered by pain

Surface calm masks
mirrored chaos
awaiting only stimuli
designed by life to
awaken choice

surfing the apocalypse
we smile through the smooth
unrippled water
grimacing into stormclouds
the tempest roiling
surface calm destroyed
revealing the ugliness
beneath

Salty tears become the ocean
merging into infinite sorrow
a world of pain realized

Dark Angel

Lord, bring us light.

Her bright soul
called to him and
in turn his called
to hers.

He felt her
deep.

I’m sorry.

Souls in synch
they soared across
skies soaked with
blood … rent by
broad strokes of
thundering
cumulus cries.

Sympathetic angels
watched and
wept softly their
timeless knowing
heralding the
inevitable.

Is this what was promised?

Malignancy masked as
love seared
their souls
boiled the soil
of a landscape torn
by desolation.

Bright balmy dreams
coaxed them forth
sharing laughter and
love upon
whispered promises of
furtive
future love.

Take this pain from her.

Dark dreams lay beneath
the veneer of light
nightstalkers and ghosts
of pain past never
far from thought
the ides of life beckoning
death lurking
just … there
beyond the pale
of morning light.

Open hearts crying
tears of silver shards
pierced heartache
leaving chasms of sorrow
in their wake.

I couldn’t stop her.

Her heart lay broken
a million times
no words of solace or peace
served.

Poignant cries overpowered
by sirens and concern
leaving him lost
listening to silence
love hanging by a single
thread of desperate
longing.

Nothing I said was enough.

Free will rules the
dark and the light alike
lives torn asunder by
the choice of one
leaving him bereft
contemplating love
and solitude.

A single path
then appeared
twisting into distant
and treacherous heights
the abyss lurking
to each side
promising oblivion
to the unwary.

My love could not hold her.

Step lightly
knowledge beckoning
the path beyond pain and
heartache
the mortal coil left
behind.

He left her with a
single kiss
to cold
pale lips
his eyes turned to the
heavens
his feet drawn by love
into the life
beyond.

I pray that she finds peace.

the basement

mirrors twist my reality sideways upside down and all around as the circle turns and my soul burns in the embers of another ego-trippin’ episode of pain and heartache, black american style. the cadence is counted by fleetin’ affairs and distant loves, bereft of a dove’s purity of existence by willful fire and callous desire. dreams flow like streams and pleasure obscures the treasure of a perfect love, hidden within by layers of sin and distant chagrin. i go outside myself to come back in, spin and watch the sky as love dies the slow death, nagged ceaselessly by false expectations come round again like an old friend, faithful till the end.

round and round i go, tired, but checkin’ the flow as life wanders past, pausin’ in fits and starts; some parts comin’ clear, albeit framed by fear. i check my stylo every now and then, recognizing my patterns, my shame and my sins. in seeing my reflection in all that i do and say my truth is flung back in my face, no waste of time or space in this eternal race every sweet taste of pleasure is chased by demons of lust and loathing misplaced.

i gasp with bliss as i am soul-kissed by greed and the seeds of material need that bleed the blood of my ancestors. their tears trace paths of mercurial fears through the haze of my self-induced daze. i lie to myself about myself as i wait – in the meantime – undulating beneath my own caress, undoubtedly blessed, whinin’ about fate as i commit the ultimate act of self-hate. gratuitous spiritual masturbation murders afrofuturistic nations, melanated gods and goddesses of infinite conception, victims of unconscionable psychological deception, imparted at the cellular level.

as a metaphor, music soars loftily, in tune with my doom. the neurotic treble tones bone the bass clef, which acts as the most def function, linking sexual harmonics to junctions of material compunction and unconscious urges that surge to be purged.

such is the state of my slate and i progress in spates of determination, persuaded yet jaded by life, served cold on a broken plate. the warmth of unconditional love passes through the glass. divine, white light shines, multiplying sight and i revel in its soothing glow. the past and future intertwine as joyous laughter denies the sorrowful cries that overlie my sighs of soul-ache, crooned soon after.

love permeates all, has since the fall of divinity to the physical plane, i am but a link in the chain, a lock in the mane of god. i am risen and i traverse death aloft on the breath of life, above strife, selfish gain and gratuitous pain, above love denied or quantified.  today, i pray.  amen-ra.

 

Release

Restless urge
rising
solar plexus-bound
bursting forth

movement

borderline panic
seeking escape from
material constriction

pulse-rate rising
mind whirling
energy pulsing
finding no exit

wondering where
what and when

how
who and why

release.

Breath pent
held
heartbeat slowing

mind calming
mouth curling
upward

life energy cycling
never-ending
light shining forth
from within

seeking completion
an outlet into
creation

a path born of necessity
of destiny
a free-flowing current
unblocked

electromagnetic

crackling focusing
attracting and repelling

movement

Restless urge
descending
solar plexus-bound
controlled

release.

Silence Surrounding My Soul

Supersonic shouts
Scintillating
Screaming echoed
Laughter
Shifting  time-space
Continuum
Bouncing off
Empty walls.

Silent cries
Wracked sobs of
A shaking train-wreck
Of a man
Curled fetus-like
Balled upon
Dirty grey carpet
Whilst insects fed
Upon his
Skin unfelt.

Memories of
love lost a
Relationship sunk
Beneath the weight of
Too much pain
Silence and
screams.

Tinny tiny voices
Over the telephone
Familiar laughter in
The background
A shout
Cry of anger
The boy has hit his sister
Again.

The oldest
Wise beyond her years
Her voice concerned
Proper English dictioned
Tones as she feels
Her distant daddy’s
Pain.

Are you alright?

Yes, we are fine, Daddy.

When are we coming home?

Mama takes the phone
The conversation becomes
Emotionless
Too-recent hurts
Brawls and arguments lie
Beneath emotionless
Banter
Business-like and
Born of
necessity and
the motions of
moving
on.

The kids need their
Shot records.

School starts
In the Fall.

Make sure you pay
The electric bill.

The middle child needs
Shoes and underwear
So send money
Soon.

Why is a father’s pain
Never sung about
On the radio
Crooned tunelessly
Across the airwaves
As daddies take care
Of business
Loving their lost children
While nurturing pain
Burning a hole
In their hearts
As they go about the
Daily grind
Making ends
meet?

Aching bones creak
As I brush off parasites
Standing
The empty rooms closing in
Around me
Spinning
Echoing laughter
Looming reverbrating
embracing me with
the phantom of
Love’s fading  facade.

I break down
Fall down
Again
Cries crooned
to the tune of an
achy breaky heart
Cherishing my
Pain and
Heartache
Lost in the sound of
Silence surrounding
My soul.

Drift – Ing

Bone drift-ing
rift-ing
grift-ing off
blood rumb-ling
flak-ing skin

Leviathan sleeps deep
slumber-ing like sheep

weep-ing priests
inton-ing dron-ing
mantras
zon-ing
a drive-by tantric
ston-ing

re-sonation re-solution
the evolution of
an exultation
a nation up-rises
beyond its station

in the eyes
of Isis
a re-velation

Haitian voodoo kings
sing of dreams
where peacocks preen
and lost souls revise
their goals

bones sift-ing
then lift-ing
marrow bubbl-ing
tribulations troubl-ing
population doubl-ing

wandering preachers
teach-ing love
blind bats screech-ing
from above.

Riffing Off You

Riffing off you and the things you do, and mean, to me, shatters all dreams of what soul’s ease could ever be, freeing a love held in trust against heartache, a new start as I move on from past mistakes, playing the part as I try to relate the lessons of the soul to my most desired goals. Soliloquies slip, then fall from my lips, subtle quips split in twain, held in trust against a reservoir of pain, bubbling forth a frothing brew of you. Carbon copies of your eyes fly between thoughts, sly and subtle insinuations of intimate relations, a standing ovation of butterflies fluttering on past, me gasping at the sight of you, riffing off you and the things you do.

I mean this feels like a dream, like a carnival ride down an unknown stream flowing down some impossible peak, beyond what I thought I sought, I seek, beyond what I thought I felt, I feel. Pure will leads me up a stony road, the way we vibe is a heavy load carried lightly, a flight to see heights I’d never even considered before, a light that just might reveal the future held in store. Life has brought us to this prescient place and I’m unable to go backward or forward without a serious taste of your love. This mysterious moment leaves me almost delirious, fomenting imperious thoughts of being with you, of examining the very heart of what seems to be true. My reflection in you reveals a Demiurge of utter truth and yours within me is more than enough proof that this was meant to be the path we walk, sent to prove the math we talk, the deeply held beliefs we speak to inherit the Earth. We’re strong, not meek, we belong together – our vision stretching into forever – our stars shining brightly, our outlook, far from bleak.

Walking beside you is a revelation of need, balking at life’s intransigent proofs, a declaration of belief born of sure knowledge grasped, a gaze held steadily against the mirage of the distant past. It seems that I needed to find you waiting, your life path relating to mine only haphazardly bound with twine, unraveling at the rate of lost time as my moon waxed trine to yours and I lay indolently supine, glaring up at the stars. Divine harmony defines our connection, the protection of innocent souls cloaked in love an invocation of promises made between lifetimes long gone, our solace enslaved, trembling in a sunlit glade like a fawn, camouflaged by sheaths of light. Inner sight reveals the parameters of possibility, unwillingly we struggle to be free to live, our spirits need to be together in time, combined in space forever, an eternal endeavor, death approaching stealthily upon wings of midnight fury, purely intent upon manifestation, presciently purposeful, gently encouraging, purging a litany of lustful desires in favor of the fire of loving you.

How can this thing that we feel be real? This steel that girds our intertwined limbs stems from blood boiling hot enough to melt iron ore, your lips against mine sending shards of fiery passion straight to my core, our bodies resonating as one moving as one mind, forever sublime, searing sighs of simple pleasure finally proving the non-existence of time as we rise, souls singing songs of salvation with soothing and sensual cries, tongues gently lapping up the love we find leaking from each other’s eyes.

Reality intrudes upon our shared vision with fatal precision, karmic choices reverberating between us as a result of each of our past decisions, derision exudes, a collision of desire and reality, the banality of the moment the only fatality in a war of want versus need. Throughout, the doubts threaten, and yet epiphanic joy sets in, taking root in my soul, sending fear and inordinate worry spiraling away, fleeing the light of a terribly fantastic day, to huddle, defeated, awaiting the next foray against hope, soaking in the viscous fluids of promiscuous Druids, boiled and stewed in a Witch’s brew of foiled promise beyond the scope of previously unintelligible, yet scintillating, sensual tropes. I suppose this means that twin flames do exist, corroborating the whispered claims of timid soul-mates afraid to relate at the deepest levels, of soul groups trooping solemnly across endless plains, stained by teardrops of crystal rain, pearl-like swirls of intention, cascading falls, gravity unwound, at the sound of your whispered call.

Riffing off you and the things you do, and are, like stars in the firmament above or doves flying high in an impossible sky. I try to hold on tight to reality, to see, the love in me that frees, that means more than simple daydreams riding motes of dust in sunlit streams of light, I adore the flight of fancy that hides the truth then glides off sideways, leaving me the ultimate proof of your love. Who is to know what thoughts we share, when we breath each other’s souls like air, where you leave off I begin, where our hearts spin round this love is twinned, quadrupled, and lived beyond scruples meant to deny the freedom of thought and Being, distractions fought, confusion fleeing knowledge born, its essence torn from the fabric of Creation, my oblation a sacrifice of fears, laid upon the alter of your heart as I riff off you, and the things, you do.

God is Love

I am so blessed.

I have people in my life who love me. Who really, really love me. Immediate and extended biological family, spiritual family and friends who are genuinely concerned and who sacrifice of themselves in the give and take of intimacy that defines closeness and true kinship, above and beyond the call of societal niceties and what is expected.

I feel blessed to be able to receive such love. I pray that I am able to give such love in return. To be there for family and friends when they need me like they are for me when they are needed. To be able to open myself to the extent that I can offer them succor and comfort when they are feeling down and out.

I am thankful for the blessing of friendship offered and received. I pray that I can open myself up to the extent that I see past selfish desires to possess and hold on to people for my own reasons. That I am able to truly live the truism that love is free and unconditional. To be able to practice the preaching that love is kind, giving and understanding, not cruel, selfish and unyielding.

I pray for the wisdom to be able to accept love. To be able to recognize the boundaries between giving love and selfish love. To be able to move within love and let love shape me rather than me shaping it. To be able to recognize the truth of love and the many shades and variations of love, as well as the best way to reflect that love and return it in kind.

I am grateful for the life I’ve lived and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. The many faces of joy and heartache, the boundaries of the extremes and the infinite abyss at the core of love. The expression of love as breath, the vital ingredient necessary in the living and understanding of the human condition.

I want to be love. I want to open myself fully to love. To release the holds upon me, the restraints that bind me within the constraints of society. To open the doors to a tsunami of love and feel myself washed away in the torrent. To seep into being, soaked in love, saturated with it, manifesting love in all aspects of my relationships and life.

I thank G-d for love. I hope to live up to love in time, as all else falls away through hard experience and broken dreams. I want to die in love, for love, embracing love with all of my being. I want love to flay me of all emotional detritus, leaving only the heart of me, sans desire, sans lust, sans want.

Love is a blessing.